I have been wrestling with feeling unsettled. And I’m not even sure why.
I have been trying to understand what is going on in the pit of my stomach.
I have a few ideas:
For real. The more I am in the house I realize I have a tendency to find everything.wrong.with.everything.
I become a perfectionist about cleaning.
I want to start a million crafts.
I wish I worked out more.
I want to read this book and that blog and…
Ah! My mind is going crazy just thinking about it. I’m so thankful God gave me an optimistic husband to balance out my pessimism 🙂
I’m joyful because of the lesson learned in this.
“Wherever you are, be all there.” – Jim Elliot
I was reminded of this quote as I was standing at the chiropractor with head weights on my head. (Picture that one!) The personal trainer said, “Close your eyes. Relax. This is five minutes of your day where you aren’t going anywhere or doing anything.” I took the challenge. But, before I knew it, I kept opening my eyes to look at the time counting down. 4:30. I have a lot to do today. 4. I wonder how the kids are. 3:45. And so on. Then, I began to challenge myself not to open my eyes! 2. Still two minutes? Relaxation was nowhere to be found.
Then, it hit me. I have trouble being all there. Soaking up the moment. Being present.
I have a hard time not worrying about the next thing I need to get done while playing with my children, or doing dishes while we are eating dinner, or wondering what book I can read after bedtime is accomplished.
So, I am challenging myself. I want to learn to be all there. To pour myself out for my children. To surrender my check lists. To really listen.
I know that this will indeed be a challenge, but I am excited to learn.
Joy in lessons. Joy in being all there.