This isn’t really a picture related day. There are lots of thoughts floating around in this head that I wanted to get out. A healthy burden. So, I interrupted the photo challenge for a day.
Recently I have been wrestling with the things that have taken root in my mind. Mainly when it comes to motherhood. This is my job, so I want to do the best possible job I can do. The problem became when I realized that I was allowing others to dictate how I viewed said job.
Let me explain.
I think I have read one too many blogs. Blogging is one of the blessings and curses of the internet in our culture. It is great to have an abundance of knowledge at our fingertips. Just today I researched some ways that moms have succeeded in potty training. I realize though that I was letting too much unnecessary information take root in my mind.
Here is what I believe: God has called me to be a mom and He has given these specific children to me. And He has not left me alone for the task, He has given me the Comforter. That alone means I have been given enough to do this job well.
If I submit to the Spirit, I can be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, self control, goodness, and forbearance. This will pour out of me and I can love my family in the way they were intended to be loved.
I began to notice a problem with how much I had been reading when I was dealing with MKs sleep problems, or learning how to discipline M, or just plain being a mom.
I started to think, “Well, this person said if I do this… My kids will be screwed up for life. I am damaging their brains.” “If they knew what I was doing, they would think I was horrible.” “This does not fit into attachment parenting.” “I fed my child sugar. Oh my.”
And of course, the ever so quiet and sneaky comparison game became louder. “Well, they parent this way.” “They do this with their children.” “Their children are able to sit and read? Mine has way too much energy!”
Mind you, the ‘they’ is people I have never even met. Why was I allowing them to speak into my parenting?
See, some blogs are great. Really, they are. Here are my favorites : Passionate Homemaking and I Take Joy They are full of grace and love. I do think they are beneficial for certain things. It is important to learn. Others, however, even though they try to mask it with positivity, are dripping with judgment and criticism.
I chose to allow the writings of these blogs to become truth in my mind. I understand they did not make me read their blog, and they did not make me wrestle in this way. It’s a challenge I am facing and I want to be victorious. I want freedom to rely on the One who made me a mom to equip me rather than the words of someone I do not even know.
I know this is possible because my mom raised me. Other generations did not have constant information rapidly flowing in their mind. They went with their “mothering” instinct, which I am not claiming is always good, but is possible.
As I was wrestling with this, I came across this from Lecrae, a phenomenal truth loving man:
This confirmed my burden for me.
I want my truth to be coming from the Bible.
I want my truth to come from women that know me, love me, challenge me, encourage me- all because they are doing life with me. And I can do the same for them.
I want my truth to come from my husband who wants to make decisions with me, not me plus a million other articles I have read. Who wants to pray and seek the Father who knows our children better than we do.
The more time I spend seeking truth other places, the more time I spend believing lies and doubting the ways I can be a decent mom.
All that to say, I am taking a break from reading blogs. An intentional time off to seek truth diligently.
This may not make sense to you, and I do not know if these rambling are clear, but I wanted to share that today I am finding joy in truth. True truth. 🙂