I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
The day started off o.k with smiles and good attitudes, but by around 11:00, the mommy monster made an appearance.
I could attribute this to a number of reasons: Potty Training, Whiny Girls, Messy House, Pregnancy, Winter, Winter, oh, and Winter.
But, the reality is, despite those reasons, I reacted to situations in ways that were less than desirable. My gentleness was not made evident to all.
I ended the day feeling pretty crummy. In fact, I texted my poor husband and said “I’m going to be honest, I am not a nice mom today.” To which he promptly face timed us to see how I was really doing. Because I was dealing with my emotions still, I was short and did not stay on the phone for very long. (M did though, taking Daddy into her room and showing him “all her toys!”)
And this is where God’s goodness humbled me. He has given me a wonderful husband. Cue sappy music. But, really. D spent the morning helping to potty train M so that I could go to my monthly check up appointment in peace. He also took off a morning this week to feed the girls breakfast, clean up the house, and drop them off at Grandma’s because I had a migraine. His response when I told him thank you, “It’s my pleasure to serve you.” And he genuinely means that.
Then, today, after already sacrificing time for me, he showed up from work early because he knew that is what I needed. Some relief. When he arrived, he was gentle and as I started to make dinner, he said “You do not need to be making dinner tonight. I’ll handle it. You go sit down.”
Humbled to say the least. I did not deserve his attitude or his servanthood. I was certainly in a mode of beating myself up and recounting all the failures for the day. But his actions remind me of this verse : “Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?” Romans 2:4
His kindness helped me to have a second chance for the day. His ability to love me with patience despite my own selfishness gave me a heart check and a chance to breathe.
I am so thankful.
Our night ended on a beautiful note. There is so much joy to be found in these little ladies. They both put their princess dresses on for bed and watching them twirl and sing and dance made me value them in a deeper way. I am blown away by how precious they are. And I am relieved to know that I get a blank slate tomorrow. I can stop adding up how I fell short of what my version of an ideal mom looks like, and trust that “Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” Lamentations 3:23
Tomorrow is a new day.
(I am bummed these pictures are blurry! Too much excitement to stand still!)