I can’t believe the last post I wrote was in May! How is it almost July already?
The anticipation for summer always feels like forever and then somehow those three summer months fly by.
We are loving being outside. There have been many days spent in some form of water whether it is a pool or a sprinkler and several days spent at the park. I adore watching the girls have the freedom to run and selfishly I also like that the less time we spend in the house, the less messy it is 😉
Despite the happiness that comes from being in the sunshine, I have wrestled lately with choosing joy in one large area of this season of my life – pregnancy.
This past week I have just felt done. I was focused on my large belly and the exhaustion that it brings, both physically and emotionally. I wrestled with body image issues. I concentrated on every little pain, hoping that it was labor. When it wasn’t, I had to fight discouragement. I nested like crazy. My hormones manifested themselves in the way of tears and an attitude of being on edge. In short, I was not very easy to live with.
I am so grateful for my husband’s response. He finally said to me, ” I am not surprised by what is going on here. You need to have a baby.” He is so gracious with me especially when I am undeserving!
Thankfully, the Lord has gripped my heart once again and reminded me that there is joy to be found NOW. Not just when my five senses would be activated by holding a newborn, but now. In the present.
Here are some areas He has helped me to choose joy in:
Joy in the beauty of growing a baby. Seriously, how crazy is it that the Lord has chosen women’s bodies to grow another life! Every time I feel her move I am in awe that there is a real, live person inside of me! I do not need to look at my body with contempt (although I need to continue to make healthy choices), but rather with a spirit of thankfulness that the Lord is knitting something together in my womb. Right now.
Joy in sleep. Right now both of my girls take about a two hour nap at the same time every day. This means I get to nap too! At night I generally get to sleep all the way through the night. Most mornings, I find little ones in my bed, but I have no idea how they got there which means I did not have to wake up to soothe them 🙂 I am relieved by our current schedule and I am soaking up the sleep I do get right now.
Joy in alone time both with my girls and with D. Every time we have a baby our lives change monumentally, of course, so I want to soak up this seasons without rushing the days by.
Joy in perseverance. I do not want to pretend to know more than the keeper of time, so I am satisfied with continuing to carry this baby even when it’s hard!
Joy in the end. Honestly, I love being pregnant. I have always loved being pregnant. This is the first pregnancy I have wrestled with wanting to be done which is a new emotion for me! It has been good to remind myself of that fact. I am blessed to be pregnant and to carry this child to term. There is so much functionally that develops in a baby these last few weeks, that I am thankful that she is still in my belly, growing and prepping for the real world.
Joy in the Lord. Pregnant or not, I am content because the Lord is good! It sounds so cliche, but I look at the above list and I am pleased that He gently leads my heart. That He reminds me of His goodness and does not desire for me to focus on the negative aspects of life. I am satisfied with where I am because He reminds me of all of these beautiful areas of joy.
What circumstance are you in right now? I challenge you to sit down and ask the Lord to reveal areas of blessing in the midst of discouragement to you, too!
I look forward to meeting this little girl, but until then, we wait, with joy!