Teach Me To Number My Days

It has been over a month now since baby H entered the world. She is a precious gift.

From the moment I saw her, I have wanted to bottle her up and keep her in this stage where she sleeps on my chest forever. The newborn phase definitely is not easy, but I love the snuggles immensely. This desire is magnified when I look at sweet M, who is now three and a half. Time flies and #allthehormones have been contributing to me being super emotional about this.

As I was indulging in some much needed alone time (with baby H) at one of my newest favorite coffee shops, I came across this passage:

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

A heavy “yes” was all I could say.

“Yes, Lord, please teach me.”

And oh am I thankful He is faithful!

Each day I seem to be reminded of the fast pace of life when I look at each of my children. I love each season that I am experiencing with them. But, at the same time, I get stuck mentally. The usual issues I write about so frequently on here- my house is not clean enough, my schedule is too chaotic, I have very little alone time,  etc. All issues that can be valid but most of the time are bred in selfishness and perfectionism.

As I have been dwelling on this verse, I am not only convicted to sit down and actually enjoy this season that I am in- because I do not want to miss it- but I am also calling into question what is actually important.

How do I want to invest these numbered days? 

What really matters?

How am I impacting the kingdom today?

Because the Lord has been faithful to remind me of this verse and to begin working a heart of wisdom, I have tried to begin to create memory markers.

When I am tickling MK and she is laughing so hard I can see all of her teeth- “Lord, help me to remember this moment.”

When M says “Mom, I think I can do this. I think I’m gonna be just fine” before she starts her first solo gymnastics class and yet still wants to cuddle up in my lap every night as we sing the lullaby we made up- “Lord, help me to cherish this moment. Don’t let me forget it.”

When H gives me the biggest toothy grin and when I smell the top of her head as I carry her- “Lord, please engrain this in my memory.”

I am praying that this intentionality allows me to reflect on these moments five years down the road.

I don’t want to miss out because I’m distracted.

I want to love fully and live well and with a heart of wisdom.

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